ESSAY BY DEVYN MARY HERBERT

Seemed like I wasn’t succeeding—— My second year in grade school was a challenge for me. I wasn’t focused, I wasn’t on a good maturity level and I wasn’t serious. I would play at school like I was out with friends. That didn’t stop until my second year of 2^nd grade. When I found out that I had to repeat 2^nd grade I was upset, didn’t feel so clever and most importantly I felt different. I was confused and didn’t understand anything. Why couldn’t I go to third grade with my friends? What did they mean I was repeating 2^nd grade? I would have long conversations with my parents. Although they made sense on every aspect of the situation, the question why, would come up just as much as the words “it’s going to be alright”.

During my second year of 2nd grade, children would always ask me why I was 9 when you’re actually supposed to be 8 in the 2^nd grade. That would make me so angry.   Seemed like they were questioning my intelligence—– So what if I was 9, ‘I got here the same way you got here.’  My response was very shocking to me. I would just reply ‘I got held back a year.’  Why couldn’t I think of something else? Something that wouldn’t make me look like a fool. I would talk to my parents about it and they would always tell me “you don’t need to tell them why, it’s none of their business!” which made sense but until this day my response is still the same “I got held back a year”. My getting questioned about my grade and age didn’t only happen in school but also outside of school from my family members. There was one Thanksgiving when my cousins and I were on the subject of school, they asked my age then asked my grade and looked at me like I had three eyes in the middle of my head. I shook that one off. Their facial expressions looked like ‘who did what and why’? My sister and I were cracking up the whole ride home and some more when we got in bed. I remember one day this girl who I really didn’t seem to like, asked me what made the school hold me back a year. Words couldn’t explain how furious I was. When truth is I didn’t know myself. I must admit that although it was my second year in 2^nd grade everything was so new to me. Not only the students and teachers but the work! Sadly I didn’t remember any of it. Especially the math! I learned that stuff like it was never taught to me. But truthfully it was. I came to realize well that’s why I was held back. After realizing that, most of it became so clear to me. It was to benefit me and my future. If I would have known that then that would’ve been my answer and that would have smacked the smirk of that girl’s face and made me look   like a champ.

People still ask me why am I turning 17 in the 10^th grade and my response is always the same ‘I got held back a year’. The difference about it now is that I’m okay with it, it’s the truth. Getting held back filled the pieces to my puzzle. Without that I wouldn’t have gotten accepted into Parkway Center City with a 3.73 GPA. Without that I wouldn’t have the knowledge or intelligence that God wanted me to have. It was not a mistake. It renewed my confidence. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people but I believe that only God can turn the bad things into a phenomenal, unique piece of art. When I came out of my second year of 2^nd grade I had a 94 in math. That let me and others know, there was no going back, the past was the past and let the new beginnings begin. The lesson that I got out of this phase in my life, was to never underestimate my ability to perceive. How did the man with the broken leg make to the finish line? He got up and kept trying. How did I become the young lady that I am today? I got up and kept trying. (October 13, 2012) 

(Devyn is shown in photo below outside the Shubert Theater on Broadway in New York with Dr. Cornel West.)

Respectfully Submitted by Devyn Mary Herbert of the Philadelphia Chapter of the Wilson Lake Herbert Family Reunion Circle

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